There’s a few hours left in the day, but I’m gonna risk it: Happy 14th B’ak’tun, everybody!
Don’t let the lack of activity here fool you… I’m going to miss this blog when it’s gone. But I am looking forward to a new year and to starting the all important question of, “What’s next?”
We’re not even remotely near the 1000 posts that I had assumed would be the final number presented here, but… Oh well. On one hand, the blog could stretch into next year, and reach those 1000 posts, but then again, ending it in 2012 sounds nice and feels right. It’s just a blog, of course. It’s not like the world is going to end just because the blog ends…
Either way, it’ll all be okay. The end is where we begin.
I’m not too afraid of the hypothetical end of the world. Everyone else will be cowering in fear with their loved ones, stockpiling water and canned goods, maybe praying for forgiveness and shit before they shuffle off the mortal coil. Meanwhile, I’ll be listening to really loud music and masturbating.
If you’re reading this, then I have sad/happy news for you. And perhaps not the most surprising of news…
This is post #900 on ye olde Counterforce. We haven’t been as prolific as we used to be, and we haven’t been as loud and verbal, and maybe we haven’t been as excited as we should. We’ve enjoyed a moment together and we’re going to enjoy many, many more as well, but I don’t think this next part will shock you: Counterforce is going to end with post #1000.
Why end it there? Why not just end it here, or tomorrow, or four months ago? Because it’s going to end with #1000, that’s fucking why. Because the time is now and because I think this particular iteration of what you know as Counterforce is ending – if I can be as heavy handed as possible – and it has to end before the next aeon can be born. But it needs to go in its own way, in its own style, and with a little celebration. And a little dark forecasting of what lays beyond.
We’re not planning to bury it. At least, that’s not my intention. It’s coming to the end and I hope to leave its exquisite corpse just laying around for people to enjoy. But this isn’t a funeral. This is going to be a fucking dance party with eulogies and crazy LOLcat GIFs. There’s plenty more YouTube embeds and shit talking and Jackface pictures and theorizing about the fate of Don Draper to come before we sign off at this particular URL. We’re still going to talk about the things we like and love and hate and detest while also being super mega self-referential and taking this thing so far down the rabbit hole and up our own asses that the sunrise/set will seem like a perpetual strobe effect.
In short, we’re going out with banging and whimpering, and hopefully both in rhythmic and wonderful succession.
I remember that when the 80s ended, as U2 had their final concert of the decade, they went out on this intensely ominous note, telling their audience that they had to go away for a while and dream it all up again. Most people walked out of that decade thinking their favorite band was over, gone forever, but that wasn’t the case.
Again, that’s a bit heavy handed, but I’m this close to embedding Semisonic videos and telling you that every new beginning starts from some other beginning’s end. Perhaps instead I’ll just tell you that you don’t have to go home, but you just can’t stay here.
Not forever, anyway.
Anyway. Count your fucking blessings. You were lucky enough to know us and enjoy this time and this place and moment. We were lucky enough to know you and fap fap fap fap fap about things we liked or thought were important. And we’re doing to keep doing that here for another 100 posts, and we’ll keep doing it elsewhere. There is, for example, the podcast to brighten and enrich your days now. That’ll be an ever evolving thing. Put it in your ears and your mind. And keep your eyes coming back here for the next 100 posts. The final 100 posts.
I hope everyone will come back. Everyone who has ever done anything with this site, or wanted to, and everyone who has ever read it. I want to bathe in all the old jokes and callbacks and motifs and references and the things we loved. I want the old shit to make friends with the new shit and then take the new shit behind the middle school and get it pregnant. And, with any luck, Counterforce will end this year. It’s kind of exciting to think that our last dance would take us right up to the stroke of midnight at the end of the world, right?
Well, I guess the Rapture didn’t happen, huh? Not today, I guess. I mean, I’m still here. You’re reading this, so I guess you’re still here too, huh? The sad thing about “The Rapture” is that, well, besides it being a fictional event in a set of fables in a funny book of short stories about wizards and demons and old world customs, is that… well, I just don’t know anyone who would be going up in this fantastical sounding Rapture thing. It’s just for the good, right? Well, all the people I know are bad, bad people… And I guess I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Oh well, a shame. But I suppose the Internet will quickly find something else for itself to get excited about, right? But there’s still us and there’s tomorrow and a little more juice to be squeezed out of whatever could be “the future” and there’s whatever could possibly come with that…
German insurance firm held orgy to reward salesmen.
Learn how to tie your shoes right.
Quite possibly our first look at Tom Hardy as Bane in The Dark Knight Rises.
If you do go up in the Rapture, don’t worry, the atheists will take care of your pets… for a price.
An excerpt from Chris Adrian’s new novel.
-Marcus Aurelius Antoninus
by Beth Hoeckel, from here.
What really goes on in Area 51?
A volcano in Iceland called Grímsvötn has erupted.
Twitter shit about the Rapture from yesterday.
Inside the Robert Redford biography.
Stephen Fry joins The Hobbit.
New discovery about mosquitoes reveals why vampires will never exist.
Speaking of which, Joe Jackson is still a bloodsucking piece of shit.
“The future is already here… It’s just not even distributed.”
David Lynch to release an album later this year.
The visual impact of gossip.
The story of Alejandro Jodorowsky’s doomed/failed/totally fucking crazy would be adaptation of Dune to become a documentary. Here’s Dan O’Bannon talking about it a little.
Related: the team up between Salvador Dali and Walt Disney.
Just checking: Still no Rapture, right? Whew.
NBC cancels Outsourced. Good.
The trailer for the new film by Miranda July.
Carrie is being remade and Stephen King suggests Lindsay Lohan for the lead.
This trailer/movie looks really terrible: Horrible Bosses.
This trailer looks so so, but the movie will probably suck: Another Earth.
It’s Pilot Season! Trailers for (just a few of the) new TV shows that were just picked up:
Awake. Which… looks good, looks interesting, but I just don’t see a TV show that I would follow/watch for years and years there. Funny how both it and Another Earth‘s trailer use that song by the Cinematic Orchestra.
Alcatraz. The latest from the J.J. Abrams camp… The 4400 meets Prison Break, featuring Sam Neill and Hurley from Lost. This looks ridiculous, and I’ll watch it and just hope that it’s not another letdown like Fringe.
Person Of Interest. Another from J. J. Abrams, although it seems like it’s mostly just his name on it and the real creative juice is from Jonathan Nolan, writer of The Dark Knight and brother of Christopher. Looks interesting-ish, but Jim Caviezel? Was that really necessary?
A trailer for the documentary on the showrunners of all your favorite TV shows.
And a nice guide to the shows that didn’t make it to the Fall 2011 season.
I had a dream a while back that the world was ending… It was an odd dream, but not a terrible one, I guess. It’s just not something you can prepare for, the end of the world. You can’t ever really be ready for it. You just gotta keep on living, don’t you? And loving and listening to music and dancing and pursuing impossible things and enjoying mundane moments and people and doing all kinds of stupid shit. Take things seriously but maybe enjoy the ridiculous things that surround you just a little bit more? I don’t want to tell you something terribly cliched, like… Live every moment like it’s your last!
No, don’t do that. You’ll probably hurt yourself trying to do that.
But maybe every once in a while, take a single moment and consider that it is your last moment on this beautiful, insane planet, and just really ponder that. And think about what you would do if it wasn’t. Beam yourself into the future and peek in on yourself and see what you’re up to. Take a vacation into the future and see who you are there. Interview yourself and find out what went right and wrong in your life in the moments/weeks/months/years between now and then, and take good notes. And when you come back to the present, remember that little trip. Remember that time you went to the future and appreciate that you’re back here, and now, and then go there again.
The anniversary of Bikini Atoll is coming up.
Chinese “dinosaur city” reshapes understanding of prehistoric era.
Brittany Julious is sexy.
The kind of guys who stay single?
The Cat Rapture for Caturday!
Neil Gaiman on Gene Wolf.
Grant Morrison to write a movie about dinosaurs vs. aliens, Barry Sonnenfield to direct.
RIP “Macho Man.”
The fashion of Star Trek: The Next Generation.
Fleetwood Mac to reunite in time for the end of the world.
The never before seen original ending to Alexander Payne’s Election, which is much closer to the book’s ending.
I don’t think I’m all that crazy about these Odd Future guys.
Tom Cruise is a lonely robot repairman.
How to survive a mass extinction.
Plot details from the upcoming Tim Burton/Johnny Depp big screen version of Dark Shadows.
Will the internet destroy academic freedom?
A history of bedwetting.
Bionic hands! The future is now!