Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue.

So, a very, very, very long time ago, there was this massive explosion. It’s just a cosmological theory, but it’s also been accepted as fact. Our universe was so incredibly hot and dense for a finite time, and it just exploded and expanded and it was bigger than anything ever, because it is everything and it’s always expanding and cooling…

…and it happened. How do we know? Because you’re sitting there, right there, right now, in your comfy chair, or on your couch, or perhaps laying in bed, or wherever or however you read your friendly neighborhood Counterforce. Well, or so we think. It sounds nice. Exploding into being, from essence to existence by way of KA-BOOM! That sounds good, right? But this thing, which we can call “Event One,” it happened, and because of it, the universe as we know it was created.

And then something happened. A serious of events that lead to the total and utter collapse of the universe and all reality. Well, they didn’t just collapse, but they began a severe process of collapsing. But the universe is big and vast and this took a little bit of time. How long? Well, roughly 2,000 years in theoretical time, but in subjective time, about 45 minutes or so.

And all of that happened, and then happened again in tonight’s season finale of Doctor Who’s fifth series, “The Big Bang.” Following last week’s ridiculously intense episode, the universe collapsed, or rather, began the process of collapsing until there was a second big bang, and everything was re-created again.

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I Shot J.R.

Good question. You want to know who shot JR? I’ll tell you:

That’s right. It was me. And that’s not all. I also shot the Sheriff. But I did not shoot the deputy!

It’s season finale week here at Counterforce!

I don’t want much TV, very little at all, actually, but this season of television is starting to wind down and the few shows that I do watch are all coming to the end. The Dollhouse finale this past Friday was incredibly interesting but predictably didn’t give me that much of an erection, and while I’m enthusiastically looking forward to this Wednesday’s Lost finale, I’m alost much, much less enthusiastically looking forward to Tuesday’s Fringe finale , a show I gave up on the show three episodes in but recently caught up on everything via Hulu (Thanks, Hulu!)(I think).

In fact, speaking of the Dollhouse finale, this write up at the Onion’s AV Club basically sums up everything I want to say about it perfectly, especially when it talks about the last moment in the episode in which something happens that “struck me as effective in the abstract, but not the actual.” Well said. I agree completely.

Though I think that perhaps I’m actually considering picking up the season set on DVD when it comes out, just to see the last episode, entitled “Epitaph One,” which will remain unaired on FOX for reasons too complicated to go into. What I know about it is thus: It’s set 30 years after the series’ events so far, it’s post-apocalyptic, it guest stars Felicia Day, and it could easily inspire it’s own TV show. All of that is just intriguing enough for me, you know?

Ah, but as I said, it’s season finale week here, so things you can look forward to…

Benjamin Light will discover a long lost secret from his past SUDDENLY COME TO LIGHT!

August Bravo and Peanut St. Cosmo will discover that THEY’RE POSSIBLY RELATED?!

Lollipop Gomez will embark on A SEXY ADVENTURE! But not everything will be as it seems…

Conrad Noir will fall into a coma and WAKE UP IN THE FUTURE! (Which actually would be kind of cool, right?)

Occam Razor will come up with a plan, A DANGEROUS PLAN, and a crazy one, so crazy that it just might work. BUT DANGEROUS, UNEXPECTED THINGS HAPPEN (but don’t worry about Occam cause he’ll wake up in the shower next season and discover that it was all a dream)(Or will he?).

Just remember, NOT EVERYTHING IS AS IT SEEMS! Oh, wait, I already said that, didn’t I? But also NOT EVERYONE WILL SURVIVE! I mean, I sure hope I do. But everyone else? UP FOR GRABS. Also, there will be big reveals and lots of BIG SEXY EXPLOSIONS, so you should probably STAY TUNED!

You will be assimilated. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE!

Kate, WE HAVE TO GO BACK!

Oooh, so exciting, right?