13 bak’tun.

Tomorrow is the first day of the end of your life.

from here.

Tomorrow is the end of the world as we know it.

Only, you know, it’s not.

I have somewhat of a New Age streak to me, but a lot of this 13 bak’tun, Nibiru, and “galactic synchronization beam” shit, the works of Terrence McKenna, and any of the panicked reports on the Long Calendar you hear about on the internet is just silly. Interesting, but silly. It’s fun, when it’s tongue in cheek, but still silly. It’s your average modern confusion. It’s fun to joke about, to make funny macros of, but it’s as important to our lives as cat memes.

Cat memes like Colonel Meow:

I want Colonel Meow to replace Xenu in the hierarchy of cosmic nogoodniks.

Today a girl I know came into my job. I like her because she’s a bit silly and we can talk about goofy science things sometimes, but I’ve been growing increasingly worried because she’s deadly serious about being terrified about 12/21. She’s been telling me for weeks how she’s been meditating continuously, trying to affect global consciousness shifts for the better. She’s memorizing maps of ley lines and trying to save up good karma to release into the atmosphere. She told me that she’s bought plenty of cat food and is taking tomorrow off of work and that she plans to spend the whole day meditating.

I hear meditation and I keep thinking masturbation.

Could I meditate for a whole day? Well, the manly bragging side of me says sure, that I could certainly give it a try, but honestly, I think I’d run out of material after a while. After a while it’d be just vapors…

Anyway.

Its all about me-ow.

I like the think of the world in terms of chess, or more appropriately, abstract chess metaphors. It’s all about analysis, experience, knowledge, imagination, and movement. Progressions. There is a board, a set pattern, but also, there’s a field that stretches out. The moves we make exist before we make them and they continue to exist after they have occurred. The game has ended before it’s even started, and by the time you’ve played it out and finished the game, another one has already started.

The wave harmonics of history, fuck yeah!

That sounds like a endorsement of reincarnation of some kind of psuedo-Buddhist notions. I have none such. To me, metaphysics and God are exactly the same: I am curious about them, but I do not believe in them. Except for the “mysterious ways” in which they work that can all be boiled down to simply physics and scientific understandings of the world.

I’m obsessed with time. Just the same as you, just the same as anyone. People still wear watches. The time readout is a huge part of most cell phone dashboards. We look at calendars, we read our morning horoscopes in the newspapers, and we make plans (and we make God laugh). We can both travel in time and change the past when we use our memories.

The end is the beginning, and vice versa.

To borrow from The Invisibles: Time is the soil in which we grow.

Get comfortable in your Fiction suits.

I believe that everything is possible. Or, everything is permitted (and nothing is possible), as Hassan-i Sabbah said, but all is determined under one strict criteria: Perspective.

Creation is the same as destruction, and one follows the other, and always has, at least if you look at it in the right light. Anything can happen (and similarly, can not happen), but it all depends on your scope. The sky is the limit, but only if you let it be.

The end of the world makes for good TV. It makes a bad joke a more often told joke. It probably translates into pageviews right before Christmastime. It turns small minds into bemused minds into fearful minds, and stupidity abounds.

Sing it, Randy.

Prophecies are a cool idea, the same as foreshadowing in stories, but they only come true when they’re made to come true. There is no difference between fate and free will. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, whether we’re talking about the end of the world, the perception of the web of time around us, or even the end of this very blog: Mektoub.

It’s fascinating to look back at ancient cultures and see how they perceived time, how they built up Gods and Demons and explained the world to themselves in stories. I find all of that history of yesteryear interesting, but I’m not afraid of it. I’m more terrified of where the cultures of today go next. Times are hard, paychecks don’t last as long, and we really need to start worrying about where our next LOL will come from.

We should look forward to the moments in which we outgrow our fairy tales, but never forget how important they were to us, especially since they lead us to this…

Probably not.

Whatever this is.

Oh well. Tomorrow is another day.

I’m quite curious about the end of the world, and how things get dismantled over time. I think about that kind of thing especially as this blog draws to a close, as the song slowly fades to its inevitable conclusion, and we put the chairs up and flip off the lights before we go. Let’s leave it with the sage wisdom of the distant past: Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end…

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Robin Masters.

A few things:

1. Today at work I endured a conversation with a random stranger about the seminal television program MacGyver. I love MacGyver, but I wouldn’t go back and watch it now if I could. In my memories it’s still great, and I don’t want those memories to be ruined, shattered, broken, rendered meaningless.

This random stranger really enjoyed MacGyver too, but not as much as I do, or did. Her devotion is not as strong as mine, nor her love as pure. Also, she kept saying “Magnum” when she meant “MacGyver.”

2. After she left, my co-worker and I made fun of her in a very subtle way. We started talking about Magnum, P. I. but we kept saying “Matlock.”

3. RIP Andy Griffith.

4. Remember the episode of Magnum, P.I. where he had to tread water in the ocean for, like, forever? Or, at least for near 45 minutes.

Yeah, it was good. At least… that’s how I remember it.

5. Remember the one where he died and was in a coma, more accurately, and was all astral and ghost-like and was floating around and hanging out people and solving a mystery but no one could see him or hear him?

You think I’m joking but that was totally real.

6. Unrelated… This is a picture of a dog and a bunch of tacos:

7. I can’t testify to full and clear total recall of the episodes, but I am positive that I have seen 100% of MacGyver the TV show (and TV movies after the show ended) in my life. I would wager that I have watched 87% of Murder, She Wrote the TV show (and TV movies after the show ended) in my life (some of it, or rather, a lot of it in the past year alone). I have probably watched something like 69% of Magnum, P.I. in my life, including the one where that show and Murder, She Wrote crossed over with each other, which I remember happening but don’t fully remember the details of, much to my chagrin.We’re not even going to waste our time talking about the time that Magnum, P.I. crossed over with Simon & Simon. We’re just not.

If I’m being honest with myself, I’ve probably only seen like 34% of Matlock the TV show in my life.

8. Did you ever watch The Rockford Files? It was good. I like James Garner. He’s one of the older actors that I tend to just like in whatever he’s doing.

He played Phillip Marlowe once. You should watch it. It was a silly movie, but highly underrated. Also, it had a really goofy but not terrible Bruce Lee bit part (and a famous scene) in it.

9. I don’t think that Tom Selleck would’ve made that great of an Indiana Jones.

Or, at least, you can only imagine his Indiana Jones as something so incredibly different from the one we all know and love that it is almost incomprehensible.

10. When I was a kid, my father had a great big mustache and wore a lot of Hawaiian shirts and baseball caps and short shorts.

He made faces like these a lot:

So, clearly, the fictional character of Thomas Magnum was my father’s style icon, right?

That seems weird now but maybe it wasn’t so weird back then. How the fuck should I know.

11. No joke: The Magnum, P.I. theme song has been my ringtone for over a year now. It’s the ringtone for calls from numbers that aren’t already in my address book. It was weird to me, considering that, when I spontaneously found myself in this conversation today at work.

12. Maybe it’s not all that weird.

13. Maybe it was fate?

14. Probably not.

15. T.C. was cool but Rick just seemed like an asshole to me.

16. A few nights ago Benjamin Light and I were talking about the future of our podcast and the caterpillar-like life of our blog and how it’ll soon turn into a beautiful and bewildering butterfly – watch for future announcements – and we were also mutually browsing around the internet, just talking and shitting the breeze and I remember reading somewhere that in other countries there confusions and mistranslations and people assumed that the title of the show was Magnum PI

Get it?

17. Anyway.

What a strange coincidence… The ringtone and the random factoid read about the internet and then the strange occurrence of the spontaneous conversation with a stranger about MacGyver but calling it Magnum and I’m trying to fix the broken web of time and it all leads to a journey down the clips show metaphor that is memory lane for me…

18. Maybe it’s not a coincidence. Maybe it’s just a thing, a thing that happens, and it has no meaning other than that which I assign to it?

19. Perhaps it’s no more important than anything, and not even real. Maybe I’m not real. Maybe I’m me, the me that I think I am and only sometimes comfortable with me. Maybe I’m really Zhuangzi, and I’m dreaming that I’m a butterfly.

20. It’s a bit of a stretch, I know, but my mind is still trudging through similar ditches as we slowly make our way towards the end of this blog. Perhaps I’m dancing around things, then taking a few steps backward before marching forward. The past can be a special place, and an odd place where things have different values and meanings assigned to him. Analyze what you can and appreciate the bizarreness of other things and leave them as they are, unmolested, uncontested. Making peace or at least coming to an understanding with your memories is a kind of time travel, and it’s how some of the best mysteries are solved, but don’t forget: The past can be a grotesque animal and you should always be mindful of how you’ll escape it.

21. Like I said… That’s a bit of a stretch, sure.

Also:

“Father figures” by Kevin Wada. I love it. Except for the KISS parts. Oh well.

22. After this… 82 posts to go.

Can you guess how it’ll end? I have an idea…

23. Maybe like this:

The 100 Greatest Moments of Lost, part 2: “You knew… and you sent me anyway.”

Awwwwwww yeeeaahhhh. We are just getting started.

The best part of making this list has been that, after me and Marco locked down the top 100, I’d go back and watch an episode and it was like, “fuck, I totally forgot about this moment! It’s not top 100, but it’s still fucking awesome.”

For example, In an early Season 2 episode, Sun loses her wedding ring. Jack tries to make her feel better by telling her a story about how he lost his ring once and had to fake a replacement. Then Yunjin Kim delivers the slightest of glances down at Jack’s left hand. Pregnant Pause. Jack looks down at his empty ring finger too and shrinks a little.

It’s a perfect snapshot of a character who’s both the calm, reassuring hero and also a manic, damaged failure. And it didn’t even make the list.

Continuing on with Counterforce’s list of Epic Lost Moments, we find ourselves at the electric encounter between the mysterious one-eyed man and Motherfucking Sayid.

The 100 Greatest Moments of Lost!

PART TWO

75. Cut to “Enter 77,” with Mikhail and Sayid taking turns tightening the screws on each other. Sayid sez: “At least we were able TO KILL one of them.” and then Mikhail tosses off this immortal, badass line: “Why are we continuing to play this little game… when it all know it has moved to THE NEXT STAGE!” Fight!

74. Charlie gives Kate her shirt back after they ran from the broken hive and delivers what might be his best and nearly only good line of the series. Kate: “It was full of bees.” Charlie: “I’d have thought C’s, actually.” Even Jack laughs, so you know it was a good joke.

73. Faraday meets the young Ellie, stares at her enough to lay the creep on her (must be weird to meet your mom back when she was a young hottie), and then gets a look at jughead, the massive Chekov’s Gun of Season 5.

72. Jack’s first fistfight with Ethan, where he gets his ass handed to him, then discovers Charlie left hanging in “All The Best Cowboys Have Daddy Issues.” Unfortunately, Jack is able to revive Charlie.

71. Pierre Chang questions a helpless Hurley on 1977 to out him as a time traveler. “So you fought in the Korean War?” snarks Chang, “There’s no such thing?” Hurley flails. Also during this moment we finally see Miles and Pierre acknowledging their connection.

70. Sayid kills a guy with a dishwasher in the safehouse/hotel room in “Because You Left.” Not only was this move awesome, but it resulted in an entire episode where and unconscious Sayid gets toted around “Weekend at Bernies”-style.

69. Team Jack finds the dump of forgotten tube canisters sent from the Pearl Station in “Live Together, Die Alone.” A kind of haunting image of futility, and a seeming answer to the question of whether or not the hatch was just a psychological experiment.

68. Richard Alpert walks into Dharmaville in ’74, slams the torch into the grass. This is where Richard was officially elevated to “This guy could walk into any scene in any timeline and I won’t bat an eyelash” status. It’s not often we get to see him display the kind of authority he levels at Horace here. “That fence may keep other things out, but… not us.” Nobody sticks torches into dirt like Nestor Carbonell.

67. Sayid meets Rousseau, and we finally get a face to the mysterious French Woman on the radio distress loop.

66. Locke blows the Hatch door. I love the way John just ignore’s Hurley’s plea to stop. What a way to end the season: a long shaft into the darkness.

65. The monster kills the pilot in the “Pilot.” Our first taste of the mysterious Island security system.

64. Sawyer and Jack meet Mr. Friendly in the jungle, “Light ’em up!” from “The Hunting Party.” Just when Jack is feeling cocky enough to call bullshit on Tom Friendly, the Others call bullshit on Jack and we finally get to hear a little about their point of view. “This is not your island.”

63. Montand loses the arm in “This Place is Death.” It was teased so long ago, and finally seeing how Montand lost his arm in the Dark Territory, as Rousseau mentions in “Exodus” was extremely fulfilling and satisfying.

62. Sawyer puts down the US Marshall in “Tabula Rasa.” Or, tries to. Wonderful that Sawyer does what no one else has the guts to. And fucks it up. So Jack goes in and finishes it, bare-handed.

61. Teams Jack and Locke form and split at the cockpit in “The Beginning of the End.” Marco and I love quoting the Jackface standard, “Are you INSANE!?!?” at each other. Later in the series, Locke would softly comment, “You put a gun to my head, and you pulled the trigger.”

60. Ben confronts Jacob, and stabs him. I didn’t make the connection for months, but the “What about me?” “What about you?” exchange is basically an allegory for Man confronting his God. Ben wants validation, but to Jacob, he’s just not important in the grand scheme. Even Ben killing him means nothing to Jacob. It’s as though you were given a chance to ask the Supreme Being about your purpose in life, and God responded, “I really don’t care, fuck off.”

59. Ellie shoots Faraday in “The Variable.” I love the stunned realization on Daniel’s face. “You knew. You always knew… And you sent me anyway.” Only at the end, does the last puzzle piece for Faraday fall into place. He neglected to consider the one threat that would kill him: his own mother.

58. “What lies in the shadow of the statue?” The one who will save us all.

57. If anything goes wrong, Desmond Hume will be MY constant. And we begin to grasp just how deep into the rabbit hole of time Lost is about to take us.

56. Locke says “I was wrong” to Mr. Eko right before the Swan implodes in “Live Together, Die Alone.” Terry O’Quinn does such an excellent job revealing the shame and fear of Locke’s failure. Despite the wonderful, fantastical elements of the show, it’s these kinds of raw, honest character moments that make Lost the amazing drama that it is.

55. The return to the Island in the opening of “316.” We all thought it would take a whole season to get back to the Island, and then BAM, six episodes in and they’re back.

54. Meeting the tail section of Oceanic 815 in “The Other 48 Days” Really the whole episode was excellent, but getting to relive the crash, from the spinning tail fuselage falling out of the sky, to the desperate panic to rescue survivors on the beach, was the perfect less-hopeful mirror to the same scenes from the Pilot. You just kinda knew from the start that these tailies were fucked.

53. The Others purge the Dharma Initiative in “The Man Behind the Curtain.” With bonus points for Ben killing his own father with gas. Horace sitting dead on the bench, the sad realization on his face that he would never understand the Island. Or perhaps he’s grasping that Alpert really meant it about the 15-year limit on their truce.

52. Desmond talks to the older Eloise in “Flashes Before Your Eyes,” sees the man with red shoes, and learns about “course corrections.” Just another brick in the “fate” wall that Team Eloise is building against Free Will. I love that a popular television show has been dramatizing the philosophical debate between fate and free will for 6 years.

51. Jack says “Forgive me” and almost jumps off a bridge. Another thing I love about this show is its willingness to give us characters at their absolute lowest. Jack is the hero, the lead, the protagonist, and here he is about to kill himself. But even in his darkest hour, he’s still inexorably pulled towards an emergency he can fix. Excellent direction in this scene: the off-screen car crash, the cry for help and the fire brightening Jack’s face. Some of Michael Giacchino’s best musical work as well.

See you tomorrow with PART 3!

The impossible gets real!

Everyone knows this is nowhere, Faraday.

Young Daniel: “But I can make time.”

Eloise: “If only you could.”

Being as eloquent and erudite as I can here, but last night’s episode of Lost was fucking awesome, am I fucking right??

The answer is a simple, undeniable yes. Some thoughts on “The Variable,” on the quick:

Daniel Faraday. Man, the ending kind of sucks there. But is also perfect. Which kind of sucks. But in a perfect sort of way. Oh shit. Ouroboros!

Uh huh.

Charles Widmore. More and more, especially after last night’s episode, I just don’t see this guy as the larger villain of the piece. Like so many characters, he’s just another cog in the machine. And another victim of time, fate, destiny, etc.

Eloise Hawking. Cold blooded!

I think Faraday being the love child of Hawking and Widmore makes a kind of sense, but how cool would it be if they just had him because of their knowledge of the future? And also, one has to presume that they take his journal to have further knowledge of the future, right?

The sad thing is… Faraday was really the continuing agent of fate/destiny and was causing events to unfold exactly as they happened, aided and manipulated into doing so by his parents, and yet, it would see that if anyone in these chain of events could be the trigger for change, wouldn’t it have been them?

Bad parenting! (Also, there just hasn’t been enough slaps across the face this year.)

Kate. I got nothing this week. Good job, Kate. Actually, speaking of Kate…

Sawyer. You’ve upped your game by doing a good job reacting to anything that’s come your way this year so far, but now… Calling the girl you’ve had intense feelings for by her intimate nickname in front of your current squeeze who’s already feeling a bit put out? Dick move, man. Dick move.

Juliet. You know I love your fire, baby. So far this year, Juliet’s walked a fine line between doing what she wants to do, staging little rebellions towards that end, but still remaining loyal to those she cares for and her giving Kate the code was another example. So far I’ve dug that the writers have essentially maintained that Kate and Juliet don’t really have a beef with each other, it’s just a bad situation for both.

Phil. That guy can stay in the closet for all I care.

Radzinsky. I’m ready for this guy to get himself locked in a closet. Granted, that’s not going to happen, but that moment when he blows his head off down in the Swan? I can’t wait.

Little Charlotte. Man, what a heartbreaking scene, especially since you knew Faraday wanted to avoid it, yet just had to end up here. Predestination is a bitch (just like Charlotte will grow up to be). And as much as Faraday wants to break free from this chain of events, he justifies to himself that he has to have this conversation with her. If she doesn’t leave the Island before the Incident, she’ll never grow up to live the life she had, so he’s faced with the impossible choice: Have her die on the Island as a little girl in just over four hours or have her die in his arms kinda sorta 30 years later.

Jack! He doesn’t actually do any drinking in this episode and he starts to shake off that post-pills daze he’s had all this year so far (part of me wonders if his confrontation with the drunken mess that is Roger Linus puts Jack permanently back on the wagon)(or is it off the wagon?)(whatever), and quite possibly (at least, according to the previews for next week’s episode) starts to hunt down that destiny he was promised.

“The Super Power Issue.” Nice cameo by Wired as Widmore moves it aside to plant his ass down and offer Faraday a job, especially considering that J.J. Abrams guest edited the latest issue. Did I mention that already?

Pierre Chang! I totally did not forget him! I love how he just isn’t going to take Faraday’s sass about time travel. I still say that Faraday’s voice in the 1950s video, and I hope that’s something that comes to fruition. Oh, and another thing…

The guy who plays Pierre Chang was Shredder in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: The Secret Of The Ooze. That’s the one with Vanilla Ice and “Ninja Rap.” How wild is that?

Richard Alpert. Seriously. How cool is this guy?

He’s not scared. He’s not even concerned. He’s all like, “Please. You’re not going to shoot me, bitch. I’m not even going to put my coffee cup down.”

The Fork In The Outlet is the code name for this season’s big finale moment and my current theory for the end of the season is: The Lostaways get back to their “present,” or at least what should be their correct year, somewhere in the vicinity of 2007 or 2008, only to find… Everything’s different! Shades of the ending of the novel version of Planet Of The Apes by Pierre Boulle. That’s my current guess. What do you think?

Daniel Faraday (again). This is a character I’m going to miss. Of course, he could always come back in some form, but I did just read something with the producers about how Jeremy Davies has ended his full time association with the show, so… well, that’s kind of sad. but as we’ve learned from Shannon, Mr. Eko, and Charlie before him… when your song is over on Lost, well, your song is really over.

See you out there, space (and time) cowboys (and girls).