Tzimtzum, or: Here There Be Tygers.

Grrrrrr.

I saw the Life Of Pi today. Just a few quick thoughts…

1. It was good. I have never read the book, and usually avoid even transcendentally good and well hyped books if reviewers promise that they’ll make me believe in God. It’s not that I’m worried about being brainwashed or that I can’t see the quality in the writing or story even if I don’t buy into the message or belief system, but it’s usually that I have eviler, and usually more stupider things to read. Ha ha!

2. I can gather, in a similar vein, that the film is very close in its adaptation of the novel, but leaves the novel’s ending less ambiguous. No spoilers here, not til the last thought.

Bioluminescent.

3. The film is really quite good, and I say that having had no expectations of it going into it. I mostly went into this film, curious to see what was going on since you’re already hearing a lot of potential Oscar buzz to it. The Oscar buzz isn’t off the mark.

4. This definitely will be (or at least should be) a Best Picture nominee. I wouldn’t be upset if it was a Best Picture winner, either. Also, best cinematography, which is possibly a no brainer since so many of the visuals are just gorgeous. I want to see Lincoln nominated for Best Picture, but I think that Life Of Pi is certainly a better film, which is saying a lot. Also, Irrfan Khan deserves a Best Supporting Male Actor nomination, and possibly a win.

5. As for the ending, and here there possibly will be SPOILERS: I took something slightly different away from this movie – which is one that you’ll walk away from needing to do some thinking on – than others, I believe. When the narrator of the tale, the older Pi, gives the Writer a choice between which of the two stories he prefers: the one that is mostly like the real story, the grim tale of human beings under extreme duress, or the tale full of magical realism and refugee animals sailing across the ocean, the Writer of course chooses the story of the boy and the tiger. That is, of course, the story that anyone would choose or prefer. The inference there seems to be that therein lies God’s existence. We create God. We bring our lives to him, the details, and we weave a powerful watcher of our existence, and find the meaning there, in the fiction, not so much in the way our lives were lived, but in the way our lives are retold.

The life of Calvin.

Advertisements

Past Prologue: September, 2009.

The end looms large, but is still a ways away and down the road a bit. But I kind of wanted to look back a little, month by month, at this blog. Maybe not every single month, but most, if I can. I guess I’m getting reacquainted with what I’m saying goodbye to? Or maybe in the back of my mind I’m always remembering that you have to put the chairs up before you turn the lights off and go home…

Right, so:

01.

09/01/09: The House Of Mice/Ideas,” by yours truly: This was back when it was announced that Disney had bought Marvel comics. Such a weird idea at the time, the idea of a mash up between your favorite comic book characters and your favorite Disney characters, or the concern that a certain “family friendly” and “neutered” aesthetic might bleed over into the monthly tales of your friendly neighborhood super powered costume fetishists.

Also, a chance to share links! I like sharing links. I like sharing a little bit of what I’m reading with anyone who might give an inkling of a shit.

from here.

The thing about the links posts is that I don’t claim to always endorse those links, their content, or their authors. I’m not saying, “I read this and I loved it and now you must read it and fall in love with it!” Hardly. Half the time when I would post these “mad linkage” posts, I had not read some of these stories I’ve linked to… yet. They were place holders, something easy for me to get back to and read later. Counterforce is and was my portal to the internet, just as I had hoped it would be for you as well.

02.

09/01/09: Apocalypse Please by Benjamin Light: I like this post. Usually Benjie trucks primarily in words, and yet I think he sets up a nice mood with a preamble of pictures of doom and destruction. As he’ll eventually say in the text bits, there’s a collective mood there, a seductive one of embracing the end (though not necessarily being consumed by it), that I think is somewhat universal.

03.

09/02/09: Humans Being by yours truly and “Lollipop Gomez,” otherwise known as the immensely talented Maria Diaz: This is us getting down and dirty and talking about the sexualized fascination and symbiotic relationship between man and machine, or whoa!-man and machine. In other news, (hu)mankind doesn’t want to just rise up and meet the approaching Singularity, we want to have sex with it. That’s either how we understand things, or how we go about not having to understand things.

from here.

In case you’re wondering, this is pretty much what it was like whenever Maria and I would talk. Pretty much every one of our continuing gmail/gchat conversations would be like this, and some nights we were just “on” more than others. I think about halfway through some of those conversations we realized that we were going to save this conversation and post it online somewhere. So perhaps during the second half we’re performing a little more. Posts with Maria were always some of my favorite because they were less about writing, and more about just being, and us bullshitting and having fun, which lead to some of the writing I most enjoyed reading.

04.

09/03/09: Between The Covers by Occam Razor, Maria Diaz, and Conrad Noir: We never did a lot of big group posts like other blogs and websites, but I think this was an interesting one, especially since it’s such a funny idea, the writers of Counterforce talking about summer reading selections. Perhaps because we’re so outside the norm of what other people on the internet would talk about for their summer reading, perhaps that’s why I like it so much.

by Andy Vible, from here.

Plus, it’s always nice to see anything from Occam Razor and Conrad Noir. Those guys are awesome. Looking back, the original title for this post should’ve been “The Pimp Game, Globalization, and Revolting Youth.” I don’t know. Something like that.

05.

09/04/09: F Is For Friday,” by me: Orson Welles’ F For Fake is a great movie. Half documentary, half essay, and an extra one half magic trick. What else needs to be said?

06.

09/05/09: Super Secret Smile Saturdays by myself: Labor Day weekend, links, and a lot of videos. This is kinda sorta what my average internet browsing probably looks like when I’m pretty substantially bored.

by Lily Camille Clark, from here and here.

07.

09/06/09: 1960s Dance Party by Conrad Noir: This is before I got Conrad hooked on Mad Men. I think this GIF perfectly represented what he saw whenever he saw people gushing about the show online.

08.

09/07/09: Why, yes, you should receive a Victory Medal for beating the clap,” by myself: So weird to read this now. Not just because it’s old, but because it’s from a different time in Mad Men. The new status quo on Mad Men is so ingrained in me now, I guess, that it’s weird to time travel further back into the 60s and see Don and Betty still married, dealing with the trials and tribulations of their lives together, etc.

Also, I always enjoyed doing the Mad Men posts with August Bravo. It certainly kept me more on focus, I think, and made me ramble less, maybe. He would’ve been involved with this one, but he didn’t heed certain advice, moved to Manhattan, and got raped by some sailors, or something.

09.

09/08/09: The Kids Of America by myself: The Republicans were being dicks to Obama, trying to deny him even the most rudimentary respect deserved by his being our elected President of these United States. Funny how few things change. Stay classy, Republicans. Keep celebrating the fundamental lack of education within your party.

10.

09/09/09: 09/09/09 by myself: It doesn’t take much to amuse me, I tell ya.

11.

09/10/09: In my younger and more vulnerable years…” by myself: The Great Gatsby really is a great book, and truly one of the Great American Novels. I used to despise it because it was too simple, too easy, such a perfect textbook for a high school class, but now I suspect that’s part of its charm. I used to think the movie starring Robert Redford and Mia Farrow was incredibly boring, but now I’m dreading the new one with DiCaprio and Sally Sparrow and the Peter Parker I’m hoping we can all forget about. At least it’ll be in 3D, as if that mattered.

12.

09/11/09: The Food chain by Benjamin Light: LOL.

13.

09/11/09: NEVAR FORGET by yours truly: Well…

14.

09/13/09: Bloodletting by myself: Just a nice reminder, I think, of how good the first two seasons of True Blood were. That’s not to say that the subsequent seasons have been terrible, because they haven’t, but the first two seasons were just excellent, I thought. Just a perfect balance between the human and the supernatural, between comedy and horror, between mystery and romance, between the darkness and the light.

15.

09/14/09: RIP Patrick Swayze by myself: Seriously. RIP Patrick Swayze. I’m going to go watch Road House again.

16.

09/14/09: Are you aware of the number of handjobs I’m gonna have to give by August Bravo and myself: Once someone says “hand jobs,” then BOOM, there’s August Bravo, suddenly out of nowhere.

Looking back, this was a very interesting episode of Mad Men, the biggest aspect being the birth of baby Gene Draper, but there was so much more going on there. Both in the episode and in our writing about it, talking about Kanye, for example, and for me finally realizing how truly amazing Alison Brie was.

17.

09/15/09: The Development Of Strange Things by myself: I like Harper’s magazine. I like it a lot. But I especially like the “Findings” section at the end, as you may have noticed here on Counterforce time and again.

* * *

Months are longer than we think, especially since we posted something every single day of September, 2009 except for one, so let’s take a break here and resume this after a…

TO BE CONTINUED!

The suburb of the soul.

Mad linkage:

Who is Arcade Fire?!

It seems like the theme of Sunday’s Grammys were “I don’t know who this person is.”

The most British movie ever.

The oral history of Party Down.

The Machinist‘s Brad Anderson to adapt J.G. Ballard’s Concrete Island, starring Christian Bale.

Robots to get their own internet.

You can buy the new Radiohead album this Saturday!

PLAY The Great Gatsby for NES.

Sex, drugs, and cannibalism: the Chilean miners’ story.

Fuck Yeah Lady Writers.

Hello! And RIP Uncle Leo.

House group proposes shifting Earth science funds to manned spaceflight.

This guy will buy you breakfast if you can explain Lost to him.

The science of heartlessness.

Michel Gondry is adapting Philip K. Dick’s Ubik.

from here.

Michael Moorcock on J. G. Ballard.

Sarah Jessica Parker wants to do a Sex And The City 3 and she wants to do it just for Benjamin Light.

What makes black holes so black?

Crystal Renn addresses her weight loss and maintaining plus-size model status.

The Criterion Collection is on Hulu Plus (and so is your mom).

Americans know so little about the bible.

James Van Der Beek to play himself on an ABC sitcom. Seriously.

Also: Aaron Sorkin to guest as himself on 30 Rock.

“We live in a world ruled by fictions of every kind — mass merchandising, advertising, politics conducted as a branch of advertising, the instant translation of science and technology into popular imagery, the increasing blurring and intermingling of identities within the realm of consumer goods, the preempting of any free or original imaginative response to experience by the television screen. We live inside an enormous novel. For the writer in particular it is less and less necessary for him to invent the fictional content of his novel. The fiction is already there. The writer’s task is to invent the reality.”

-J. G. Ballard

The sun unleashed a huge solar flare towards the Earth.

CBS News’ Lara Logan hospitalized after sexual assault in Egypt.

Living towers made of humans.

Hans Zimmer promises that the score for The Dark Knight Rises will be both “epic” and “iconic.”

Also, 1 in 5 films coming out in 2011 will be sequels.

Click here to see the beginning of something wonderful.

Natalie Portman cries a lot.

Who makes shittier movies, Guy Ritchie or Zack Snyder?

by Jason Brockert, from here.

Pakistan issues arrest warrent for Pervez Musharraf.

Whatcha thinkin’ about?

There’s a DuckTales comic coming out. How awesome is that?

Twitter, translations, and the new geopolitics.

The Onion’s AV Club interviews PJ Harvey.

Look at the trailer for this Dead Island game. I know nothing about this game, but based on this trailer, I want to play the fuck out of it.

Why the Oscars snubbed Christopher Nolan.

You rock, rock.

from here.

Why I want to fuck J. G. Ballard.

Maria Bello a reasonable replacement for Helen Mirren in the unnecessary remake of Prime Suspect?

An underground village in France where people lived for hundreds of years.

Jeff Mangum is touring.

Billy Ray Cyrus blames the Devil and David Lynch for his problems.

Facebook’s growing web of frenemies.

Justina Bieber doesn’t believe in abortions, even in the case of rape. Man… whatever.

from here.

Michael Emerson to star in Person Of Interest, the CBS pilot from J.J. Abrams and Jonah Nolan about predicting/fighting future crime.

Pitchfork gave the new Mogwai album a 6.6.

Top 10 famous people who didn’t actually exist.

Donnie Darko‘s Richard Kelly to do a normal, traditional thriller next.

What would Hüsker Dü?

There’s a campaign to replace the N-word in Huckleberry Finn with “robot.”

“I would sum up my fear about the future in one word: boring. And that’s my one fear: that everything has happened; nothing exciting or new or interesting is ever going to happen again … the future is just going to be a vast, conforming suburb of the soul.”

-J. G. Ballard

I like and respect Jill Thompson’s visual take on Wonder Woman.

Speaking of which, Adrianne Palicki is the new Wonder Woman (in that David E. Kelley TV pilot).

…and here is the audition tape for Tanit Phoenix, who didn’t get the role, that shows how obsessed the pilot script seems to be with breasts.

Iain Sinclair on J.G. Ballard’s favorite artwork.

The underage cast of MTV’s Skins pose in their skimpies in Elle. Now go crazy, people.

The age of consent around the world.

The businessmen drink my blood just like the kids in art school said they would…”

The guy who was raised by cats.

Chaos reigns.

Antichrist, 2009, directed by Lars Von Trier, and starring Charlotte Gainsbourg and Willem Dafoe.

Here’s a few selected comments left on the page for the film’s trailer at  YouTube…

“I really want to see this, it looks interesting……….”

“I’m looking forward to see it :)”

“Pessimo gusto artistico..pessima interpretazione… mi aspettavo molto di piu’… troppo satico trama banale fatta la risposta a tutto cio’ è la semplicità e quindi…in fondo non c’è niente da capire oltre alla storia stessa che è riuscita a mala pena a spiegarsi attraverso quel povero e scarso linguaggio cinematografico… si vede il cinema danese come qualcosa di futuristico di innovativo…io vedo tutto cio’ solo come un obbiettivo non del tutto raggiunto.”

“Look’s crap” and “Look’s boring.”

“Um. Gross. Willem dafoe should never fornicate.”

“What is this movie about? Is the woman the anitchrist or the guy?”

“I think that antichrist is something being deep inside our nature that makes all of us to live in pain, grief, despair, fear, – to hate one another and to hate ourself…”

“LOL that’s deep. Agreed.”

“Theory: You’re an idiot.”

“Theory: your theory is correct.”

“Looks retarded. And are they doing it in the woods at the end?”

“I was fortunate enough to see this movie, it’s pretty good.”

“Yes, you people go watch your nice love films with the happy ending and then cry cause your life is pathetic… Art is not for everybody… Thanks, Satan!”

“Terrible movie. Why cant anyone produce a real movie with a real story? As for sex scenes in movies, that is so 1980’s. Nobody puts sex scenes in movies anymore, or even tits. Its retarted. If I want to see a sex scene ill just watch a porno.”

Editor’s note: You’d be amazed at how many typos or simple grammatical errors I’ve corrected so far, especially since I have too hard of a time just copying and pasting it that way. However, some of these things I will leave as the original comment’s author intended though. To do otherwise might prove to be, ahem, retarted.

“McAmerica is no longer a true Western Nation, since most of it is now produced in China. McAmerica, made in China. Now available at Walmart.”

“What a pithy and educated depiction, you must have escaped the pervasive westernizer gew gaw that transmits from the peak of the Washington monument and tranquilizes the sheepish populace into a Dorito-stained stupor. or at the very least, you’re certainly smarter having never been around it. in Mohamed’s name we praise peace, love, and understanding.”

Editor’s note: In the previous comment, that commenter was replying to another commenter whose screen name was a play on Mohamed, but I changed it.

“American movie goers are so dumb, all studios have to produce these days is REMAKES. ‘Duuuurgh dis a good movie. better dis time coz they dun took out most of da talkin and put in more cgi duuuurgh nukes.'”

“Hey man… hey… fuck you, okay!?”

“…in places like France, Spain, Italy the culture is to enjoy life. To spend forever at lunch, to sit in the sun discussing politics or history, to go to markets and street fairs. They go to Bistros, Cafes, Pubs. In America they go to Walmart. They go to Macdonald’s. They go to CVS to pick up medication to relieve the McBlockage their diet has produced in their colon.

Contemporary Americans don’t value life, or art, or culture. They value money. Contemporary American cinema reflects this.

It’s a sweeping generalization sure, but the fact remains American cinema has taking a creative nose dive over the past ten years.

Something you brits may not know, but Americans are utterly obsessed with making money. They value their bank accounts more than anything else. This is why America’s economy is so large, but quality of life is so utterly appalling. They work hard, then sit. They buy cheap, and dispose of it. Big is better. The word ‘quality’ doesn’t exist in American dictionaries.”

“I’m American and I have to agree with you 100%. This doesn’t mean I hate Americans or am an asshole but I fully believe that most Americans are slaves to the money and the wrong idea of enjoying life’s riches. Work, then sit and overeat and watch stupid reality television that glorifies violence and idiocy. Creativity and the love of the world is missing from most Americans nowadays so why would American cinema even try to make these creative artistic movies when they raise us on violent pure shit.”

“Wow… How pretentious of you to make such a wide generalization of American culture. Art is meant to make you feel something… Whether thats fear, love, disgust… All acceptable and sought for reactions. This film isn’t targeted towards mainstream audiences, so some people can’t connect with the style of film… Just the reality of the world we live in.”

“You’re calling ME pretentious? What about Hollywood? The primary source of American film culture? American film studios pump out movies so dumbed down that a mentally handicapped chimpanzee would be disappointed by lack of mental stimulation.

They’re well aware of how closed minded American movie goers are, and tailor films accordingly. Here’s what the average American says about ‘Art’.

‘Art’s fer fags n Euroqueers, freedom.'”

“Admittedly American films are often without intellectual content. But in my opinion European films head to the other direction, they try to hard to appear sophisticated that the storyline and character development of their movies suffer.”

“European films don’t have the same budgets, so they have to rely on (real or imaged) intellect. They very often seek to explore human nature, which from a cynical Europeans pov is a very disturbing subject.

Like you said, stories and character development are often lacking.

But we can say the same about Hollywood. Brits make some good films. Depressing as they are.”

“You are fully (aw)are I assume that Lars Von Trier isn’t British and that the entire cannon of British cinema is not ‘depressing?'”

“CHAOS 4EVA!”

“It’s surely a bit ridiculous to say America is incapable of making good or, perhaps more importantly, worthwhile films. Just as it is equally ridiculous to say that all European/British films are ‘depressing.'”

Editor’s note: We’ll leave it up to you whether or not you think that British films are depressing.

“this movie sucks big time!!! i saw this movie in the theathre, and in the end everybody looked at each other with a look “WTF?!” this movie is a waste of your time!! I could’ve done it so much better, but noooooooo lars von trier is soooooooooooo special….i hate that stupid c*nt for making me spend my money on that movie!!”

“Bet over half the people talking shit about this film have simply read up the synopsis on wikipedia and made a decision on that basis. I saw it last week and quite enjoyed it, sure its nothing spectacular, but worth a watch in my opinion, intro is awesome heartwrenching watching the little boy fall to his death.”

“Lars Von Trier is a garbage director but this movie looks interesting……. Yes, America is getting there asses handed to them in the horror genre nowadays but still have more great horror films then any country. As of right now, the best horror movies are coming out of Europe, especially France with Inside and Martyrs which is the ultimate feel bad movie and in my top 10. The Nightmare On Elm Street remake is another example of America kicking itself in the face. why fix something that isnt broke?”

“‘still have more great horror films then any country As of right now.’

Um… Japan? You know, the country where at least 50% of American horror movies are ripped from. The Ring, The Grudge, Pulse, Dark Water… etc.”

“I don’t know. When I think horror movies, I think Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Freddy Kruger, It, Pet Cemetary, Psycho, Evil Dead, The Shining, Leppricon, Friday The 13th, Night Of The Living Dead, Dawn Of The Dead, Amytivill Horror, The Exorcist, and The Omen.

Editor’s note: I do believe that he of course meant Pet Semetary, Leprechaun, and The Amityville Horror.

“Every single one of those films was made during or before the 1980s. Save ‘IT’, I think that was made in 91, still 18 years ago. Thanks for proving my point. American horror is truly a thing of the past.”

“Great movie. Choice labia snippage. LOL!”

“This film was disturbing but fantastic at the same time.”

“What The Fuck Is Wrong With This Movie.””Is that William Defoe talking?”

“Yep, it’s him.”

“Why don’t they just get the fuck out of the woods?”

“LMFAO, I could make a WAY better antichrist movie then this piece of shit.”

“Isnt that the green goblin? hahahaha.”

“kk There is a scene where she snips her clit off lol. And she also like if i remember hits his nuts with a board and then like jerks him off, and he cums blood. LOL.”

“Thumbs up if you found Willem Defoe’s pendulous ballsack hypnotic…”

“I didn’t get what this film was about. The acting was still great though.”

“I can see judging from the comments that this trailer has just created a majority of douchbags.”

“Stop fucking spamming the comments with your boring shit. JUST SHUTUP.

Anyway, can someone tell me what the underlying themes or messages this film is meant to have? I’ve been reading up alot about it lately and I’m not sure whether I want to pay to watch a lady cut her clitoris off if none of the film has any relevance or point…”

“What’s with the hands coming out beneath the tree? Can someone explain?”

“BORING” and also “Creepy.”

“NO FUCKING WAY!!! WHY DID I WATCH THIS… EW EW EW EW EW EW.”

“It’s not porn until you touch yourself.”

“‘Nature is Satan’s church.” An interesting statement…”

“I wouldn’t agree with that. Nature is the most beautiful thing.”

“I know, i never said I agreed with it. In fact I disagree, but interesting.”

“The idea of ‘nature being the devil’s church’ is taken from the greek god Pan. He was a satyr, half man, half goat and lascivious, who had horns on his head (i.e. the image of the Christian devil). The trailer doesn’t explain much about the movie’s plot though.”

“What happens in the woods, stays in da woods.”

“THIS COMMENT PAGE IS FULL OF PEOPLE WHO ACT LIKE THEY ARE SMART AND KNOW WHAT THE FUCK THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT WHEN IN REALITY THEY ARE FUCKING STUPID.”

“hell yea i agree with u”

“Does this statement apply to you too, then?”

“No I’m not trying to act like a genius. Just someone who’s pissed off.”

“And now your one of them…plus you went and made it all caps to show just how pissed off you really are, but no one cares.”

“And I’m being told this by an idiot who doesn’t know the difference between ‘your’ and ‘your’e.'”

“Kickass movie.”

“It’s amazing the stories girls make up for a shag in the woods.”

“From the trailer, it looks like candy for aged degenerates. It could have a story but I’m sure that it is lost somewhere between the stressed visual effects and skin slapping. Yeah, just like any typical Hollywood plots.”

“This move scared the hell out of me, but it’s also one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen. I can see where some people wouldn’t like it, but it’s raw and it’s honest.”

“Poor Jesus…….. I bet his asking WTF i sthis shit?”

“A hyper-intellectual making horror movies for intellectuals – not quite the widest target audience. The only reason why people hate this movie is – they don’t understand it. I don’t get how this thing got into mainstream.”

“Lars Von Trier is not an intellectual. He’s Danish. Don’t let the foreign accent intimidate you, small fry.”

“I’m worried about the way it’s filmed. Looks documentary, and documentary related filming techic… IS NOT ENTERTAINING!”

“BUT WHAY THE HELL IS THE MOVIE CALLED “ANTICHRIST” IF IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT. I DON’T GET IT!!!!!!!”

“Does the movie have to do anything with the title? If yes let me know. Or else I don’t want to watch.”

“Does it not portray the metaphor for witch craft? And therefore the title refers to the woman?

There is a painfully obvious bible metaphor in the forest of ‘eden’ and her book is called gynocide, which is a term coined by Mary Daly to make reference to the abnormally high amount of women murdered in early modern Europe for being witches.

That’s my take on the film.”

“What the fuck this is a fucked up movie?”

“I DO LOVE INDEPENDENT AND ODD MOVIES, BUT PLEASE SOMEBODY EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT THE HELL IS THIS ONE ABOUT!!!!! IT’S BEEN A WEEK SINCE I SAW IT AND I CAN’T UNDERSTAND IT NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY!!!!!! PLEASE ANYONE EXPLAIN TO ME, PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“There can’t be an antichrist because there was no christ, nor a god.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“You’re the idiot if you believe all of that bullshit.”

“Liberal troll.”

“fuck u bitch.”

“i aint no bitch troll. whateva, i do wat i want!”

“No way in the world Jesus will arrive on August 14, 2014. You would know that if you are a true Christian.

‘No man will know the date or hour of the end times.’

-Revelation… I forgot what verse exactly… I will have to look it up.”

“…LOL. Define a true Christian. But you are right.”

“The only True possible antiChrist is the Christ himself…. just not his Good side. Instead of Mercy he will be Revenge to those who dont Know he is Mercy.”

“Yeah, could be, but it could also be that a book written by nomadic desert goat herders who thought the earth was flat… just isn’t true.”

“This film might as well be a violent porno.”

“I just finished watching this movie….and it is the most GRAPHIC, BIZARRE, CRINGE-WORTHY film I’ve ever seen in my life. There is so much sex in this film and it’s not the least bit pleasurable to watch. Be cautious when watching this movie…”

“It fucking made me gag when she smashed the guys balls with a wooden block and made him ejaculate blood.”

“Eat shit and die and include spoilers next time.”

“I find this Ironic considering Defoe played Jesus. (an Ax wielding Jesus.)”

“Where did you get the axe from?”

“I feel a bit of William Blake like art in the tree-copulation scene.”

“Epic!”

“Nature may inspire ideas, but it is logic and reason that shape and critique our perceptions of nature. Having an idea is not the same as logic. Logic & reason are not measurable by natural means. Just because our minds exist in a physical body doesn’t make the things we think of physically real. Logic could exist without nature. But nature is constructed and depends on logical laws. It cannot exist without them, and therefore it cannot itself have created it. Logic must preexist nature.”

“Sorry, but you’re so wrong it’s funny. If one is constrained by logic, then one is surely not omnipotent. If god created all things, surely he created the laws of logic, and therefore he can bend those laws at will.

Of course being that you’re a mentally ill religious lunatic, you’ll just attempt to twist my ‘logic’ to fit your own deluded view of existence. Sometimes I pity you religious nuts…but most of the time I just laugh at you.”

“DAMN NATURE YOU SCARY!”

“If God exists – he would either:

A. Tell us he exists – by appearing in person when we reach age of reason and tell us what the FUCK is up. Or in some other shape or form influence all of the humanity and inform us – BIBLE, QURAN and SHIT don’t count.

B. Make sure we never suspect shit and would deny our mind to understand such things as god.

There is no shit in middle of – Some believe and some don’t. Since it is not A or B, he simply does not exist.”

“Oh look ANOTHER religion fight on youtube. WHAT ARE THE ODDS?”

“I know, right. I was expecting comments about the movie.”

My favorite:

“FUCK THE ILLUMINATI!”

“God forgive your sins & open your eyes to the truth. =)”

“What ‘sins?’ Because we have ‘penises’ and ‘vaginas’ is thinking about sex ‘satanic?’ Because we think that there ‘is no such thing as good religion’ is satanic too ? What do you think; were you ‘created by god’ or ‘born from mother and father?'”

“Don’t you have any respect for a person’s beliefs?”

“No, I don’t.”

“Where can I download this online for free?”

Editor’s note: There are a lot of arguments on this comments thread trying to rehash a lot of the same logical exercises to either prove or disprove the existence of a God or a creator or whatever. The term “four sided triangle” gets thrown around a lot, it seems.

“I thought this movie was absolutely great until the gore porn started. It makes me feel like a lost a friend. It was THIS close to being a psychological horror masterpiece, and then BAM. Bleeding penis.”

“ha ha ha…. Stupid stuff. People having sex among dead bodies! Big deal…. Trying so hard to look evil. Evil is within each and every individual already…. Can’t go looking for it among scary stuff. Seen how it comes out when you start getting jealous of someone’s promotion? Or somethin like that…. There’s evil right there! Control your own…”

“It’s just a film, dude.”

And last but certainly not least:

“This movie is just a plain awesome peace of Art!

Lars did great on that one, the most epic art piece I have seen in many months!

Very twisted and nerf wrecking tho.”

Precious little simulacrum.

Found this somewhere in the wilds of the internet the other day:

Scott Pilgrim vs. The Matrix, mashed up. Made me chuckle. Also, Keanu, you’ve really made a comeback (of sorts) on the internet this year. And, only slightly unrelated, this: