“Melody Williams, that’s a geography teacher. Melody Pond’s a superhero.”

Last week was a hell of a cliffhanger and the start of a massive call to arms. This week we discover that the answer to the question “Where is the worst place in the universe to be standing?” is easily found out when you kidnap Amy Pond. A baby is born, a baby is kidnapped, a trap is sprung, some old friends return for the first time, we finally discover who River Song is, and this week on Doctor Who we discover that a battle can be lost and won simultaneously and that demons run when “A Good Man Goes To War.”

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The year in film.

This is a fun little montage:

from here and here.

The September Post.

This is the 750th blog post on this blog. Will we make “contact” with 1000 posts before the end of 2010?

We’ll see. But in the meantime, this is a picture of Betty White and Jon Hamm:

This is funny ha ha:

And this is just the truth, no matter how you try to fight it:

Look, I don’t want to make a big deal out of this, but we’ve been hanging out for a while now, right? Well, here’s the thing…

In all that time, we’ve really gotten to know you. We know what you’re thinking…

You’re thinking, “Where did this blog go? I love this fucking blog and it practically disappeared into thin air!”

Calm down. Don’t be so dramatic. Take in a deep breath. Do not shit your pants please. Everything is going to be just fine. Trust us.

This is just a blog. And we are right here. And this is a picture of what looks like not only a completely unnecessary “remake,” but also something that is terrible:

Only slightly related, this is a video featuring a guy hitting on a girl at the beach:

This is a lot of yogurt:

This is a picture of James Cameron in the Amazon:

This is a picture of an average day in the life of yours truly:

This is a picture that I found mildly humorous:

This is Dwight’s perfect crime:

This is just a few search terms used to find us (as of 3 PM EST on 09/16/10):

And here is just a few from today, as of 1:28 PM, EST:

This is a picture of Thom Yorke wearing a headband:

from here.

Here’s Jack and Juliet’s fake kid totally checking out his mom’s rack:

from here.

This is both a picture and a “meta statment” about Counterforce:

This is what Bjork’s house looks like:

from here.

This is a picture that just  plain confuses my penis:

And this is an infographic about important distinctions that need to be made about some of the content on the internet these days:

This may be (but hopefully not) the only Counterforce post this month – so sorry! – so I hope you enjoyed it.

This is what I wish you and I could be doing right now:

And this is “September” by Earth, Wind & Fire:

The Ides.

Today is the day you were warned about.

Honestly, I just like saying: “Beware!” And telling people to beware various things. Like, “Beware those calories!” Or, “Beware Justin Bieber!”

Recently on Counterforce:

We’ve been comparing things, things like the manic pixie dream girl vs. the amazing girl, Heroes vs. Battlestar Galactica, and Kirsten Dunst vs. Kate Hudson.

We’ve got plenty of our favorite news items and lots of mad linkage to share with you.

And we celebrated the birthday of Dr. Seuss.

We’ve been watching – what else is new? – this brand new and final season of Lost: “Dr. Linus,” “Sundown,” The Lighthouse,” “The Substitute,” and “What Kate Does.”

And, in doing so, we’ve been trying to get inside the minds of characters like Jack and Sayid. But perhaps they’ve been getting into our brains instead?

Speaking of television: Nip/Tuck finally ended, but the singularity still looms on the horizon (and perhaps on cable TV as well).

Oh, and the Oscars came and went again. We talked about afterward and talked about it quite a bit during the ceremony.

I read Tao Lin’s first collection of stories and then talked a little about short stories in general for your amusement.

The lovely Karen Gillan as a soothsayer of sorts in Doctor Who.

People tend to believe that God believes what they believe, we learned, and then we watched a bit of Chris Marker’s documentary about Andrei Tarkovsky.

Conrad talks about two of his favorite things: Prince and Kevin Smith (but more so Prince than Kevin Smith, he assures me).

from here.

Oh, and my iphone is apparently waiting to me, amidst the sea of pornography, sex pills, and mortgage help that the internet is just dying to offer me.

And our very own Maria Diaz, who’s been rocking it at SXSW this past weekend, got herself wifed up for the purposes of partying and let me DJ the party, and you were cordially invited to the event.

Fun fact about The Ides: It’s the 15th day of the month, but only in March, May, July, and October. In every other month, it’s the 13th of the month. The Roman calendar is really so weird.

All this talk of soothsaying and foretelling has me thinking… Here at Counterforce, when we’re not complaining about shit, we’re typically just slicing up bits of our subconscious, things that we like from all over the place, and sharing them with you. Sometimes it’s planned, and sometimes it happens on a deadly whim, but I wonder… Perhaps we should be planning and sharing what we’re planning more beforehand, teasing you a bit… Hmm. Maybe, right?

Or, more dangerously, just throwing out random things at the start of a month, or any time period, and then talking about them at some point, in some way. Maybe the topics are user generated, or just things the author knows nothing about but have always been abstractly interested in, I don’t know. And then they go off and learn something about that topic, or maybe they don’t. But they find an angle and attack it. Maybe it’s predictive blogging, maybe it’s something else.

OR! And this, this right here, is insane, but let me start earlier… at work, sometimes, when we’re bored, my co-workers and I will play a game, a silly, stupid game that we call “The Wikipedia game.” We generate a large group of topics and subjects, then you pick two randomly. You go to one of those topic/subject’s wikipedia pages, and utilizing only links on that page, you have to, in five clicks or seven clicks (or whatever) or less, you have to arrive at the second topic you picked. Think “Six degrees of Kevin Bacon,” but more infotastic and time wasting. Mind you, I”m just talking out loud here, so maybe this is lame, but what if blogging was like that? 

The VD.

Google shuts down MP3 blogs on Blogger.

How to turn off Google Buzz.

Nurses and “horizontal violence.”

SETI opens it’s data to “citizen scientists.”

Bees can recognize human faces.

Cosplay and Avatar in the Middle East.

Dr. Dre sues Death Row records.

Robert Pattinson: “I’m allergic to vagina.”

Courtney Love on Kurt Cobain.

Valentines in ancient Rome were all about pain. Story of my life.

Pictures from here, showing new advertising campaign for Durex by German illustrator/designer Andrej Krahne.

Sleep when you’re dead.

Just a reminder:

Our 100 Greatest Moments Of Lost are coming!

Until then…

Islands of waste.

Is The Book Of Eli remarkably Zardoz-esque? (Zardoz is awesome, BTW.)

Damon and Carlton reveal the identities of Adam and Eve.

It looks like Kathryn Bigelow (who could be facing off against ex-husband James Cameron at the Oscars) has picked her next project.

Speaking of which, Google employees in China may soon be laid off, but at least they’re getting free passes to Avatar.

All the latest from the Late Night TV wars.

Blah blah Rush Limbaugh and Pat Robertson, blah blah.

Pack a gun to protect valuables from airline theft or loss.

I want to see the new Andrea Arnold movie.

The 5 creepiest unexplained broadcasts.

Skeezy husband tries to seduce own wife on Facebook (not realizing it’s her).

Porn on the big screen can stop up traffic.

Jetting into the Quark-Gluon Plasma.

This post was Jin-approved.

Studies in scarlet.

The week so far…

1. A possible Spiderman 4 (and most likely a 5 and 6 as well) featuring Sam Raimi, Tobey Maguire, and Kirsten Dunst? Nope. Fuck that. Sony has decided to take Spidey back to high school in a reboot.

2. NBC is tired of watching Leno lose at 10 PM, so they wanted to take him back to 11:35 PM or a half an hour and push Conan to 12:05. It’s kind of sad, but when the Peacock had to option of really backing either the Hair or the Chin…

…they took the Chin over the Hair, but Hair said no.

His statement:

People of Earth:

In the last few days, I’ve been getting a lot of sympathy calls, and I want to start by making it clear that no one should waste a second feeling sorry for me. For 17 years, I’ve been getting paid to do what I love most and, in a world with real problems, I’ve been absurdly lucky. That said, I’ve been suddenly put in a very public predicament and my bosses are demanding an immediate decision.

Six years ago, I signed a contract with NBC to take over The Tonight Show in June of 2009. Like a lot of us, I grew up watching Johnny Carson every night and the chance to one day sit in that chair has meant everything to me. I worked long and hard to get that opportunity, passed up far more lucrative offers, and since 2004 I have spent literally hundreds of hours thinking of ways to extend the franchise long into the future. It was my mistaken belief that, like my predecessor, I would have the benefit of some time and, just as important, some degree of ratings support from the prime-time schedule. Building a lasting audience at 11:30 is impossible without both.

But sadly, we were never given that chance. After only seven months, with my Tonight Show in its infancy, NBC has decided to react to their terrible difficulties in prime-time by making a change in their long-established late night schedule.

Last Thursday, NBC executives told me they intended to move the Tonight Show to 12:05 to accommodate the Jay Leno Show at 11:35. For 60 years the Tonight Show has aired immediately following the late local news. I sincerely believe that delaying the Tonight Show into the next day to accommodate another comedy program will seriously damage what I consider to be the greatest franchise in the history of broadcasting. The Tonight Show at 12:05 simply isn’t the Tonight Show. Also, if I accept this move I will be knocking the Late Night show, which I inherited from David Letterman and passed on to Jimmy Fallon, out of its long-held time slot. That would hurt the other NBC franchise that I love, and it would be unfair to Jimmy.

So it has come to this: I cannot express in words how much I enjoy hosting this program and what an enormous personal disappointment it is for me to consider losing it. My staff and I have worked unbelievably hard and we are very proud of our contribution to the legacy of The Tonight Show. But I cannot participate in what I honestly believe is its destruction. Some people will make the argument that with DVRs and the Internet a time slot doesn’t matter. But with the Tonight Show, I believe nothing could matter more.

There has been speculation about my going to another network but, to set the record straight, I currently have no other offer and honestly have no idea what happens next. My hope is that NBC and I can resolve this quickly so that my staff, crew, and I can do a show we can be proud of, for a company that values our work.

Have a great day and, for the record, I am truly sorry about my hair; it’s always been that way.

Yours,

Conan

Conan’s manager says that the statement came from Conan’s heart and wasn’t about strategy or negotiating, but it smells like it was. Either way, everyone loves Conan, right? At least, everyone on the internet. But how many people on the internet commenting about what a raw deal he’s getting are actually watching his show or any late night TV? We live in a day and age where if something interesting happened on one of these shows, somebody we know saw it and can point us out to a good youtube or Hulu link.

Either way, people of Earth, these things tend to have a way of working themselves out. Or being great fodder for humor.

And now Sarah Palin is a Fox new commentator, which makes a kind of perfect sense. That’s a whole other story though.

That’s the ha ha, and the funny. Oh, the drama of the late night comedians. And the comedy of Sarah Palin. But also this week…

3. Massive earthquake in Port-au-Prince, Haiti. Never a laughing matter.

Where you can help by donating.

And this is just the middle of the week.

Meanwhile…

Sounds like Heroes is still firing on all cylinders.

Google and China.

The Avatar blues.

The Pope says that gay marriage threatens creation. Ha ha.

The oceans are losing the ability to absorb greenhouse gas.

Christopher Nolan on Inception.

Masculinity for beginners.

The ass goblins of Auschwitz.

Youth anticipate early death.

No domestic terror attacks under Bush? Really?

Immortality is within our grasp.

“I’ll see you in another life, brotha!”