you know, i’m a normal girl. nothing too crazy, like having a cat farm as i’ll never have children. i have a boyfriend, he’s mad cute and likes me!!! i don’t talk to myself in public. often. ok, that’s a lie, but i’m pretty balanced. but i have a special relationship that i just can’t hide.
her name is blackberry curve, and we’ve been together two years now. two special years. we’ve had our ups and downs, you know, like everyone else. but she keeps me connected, mostly. i look out for her too. i get her insurance and even clothe her in boring little gel covers. you know, in case i drop her all crunk like. but when she slips out of that cover….damn!
it’s a sleek phone! it is! i hear other peeps talking about their texting machines; iphone, androids, misc machines out there. yeah, that’s all great for you. it is. but i’ve gotten to know this thing, and change is hard. you get this shiny pretty thing, never bothering to read all the pamphlets and watch the tapes. this BB and i have gotten to know each other. she takes my photos, sends my facebook updates, tweets my nonsense, and deletes my shitty spam email. she’s been an important part of my life!!! there’s few humans i would trust with those tasks, but i trust her!
so here we are, at contract renewal time. i put a lot of faith in you, but like all old models, you’re breaking down. not what you used to be. it’s like the relationship that just starts to fall apart. i don’t get texts because you won’t get off your fat ass and receive them. you put your needs ahead of mine, always needing charging and self absorbed things like that. i pay your bills! keep you looking good! hate to go all janet, but what have you done for me lately??? she can’t blame me for having that wandering eye….ooooOOOooooyeah!
it’s not to say i don’t believe that someone can find eternal and committed love. i do, it exists, i think? jonathan franzen wrote a little piece about something similar recently. it touched the unfeelingness that i and a lot of people had been feeling. ever since these little devices/angels from heaven had been introduced to our lives. the disconnect of connection. the like of ourselves when others *like* us. “we like the mirror and the mirror likes us.” this is a topic that’s been covered-ish. what did i mostly take from this article? franzen had a blackberry!! my literary idol shares my love, but is also a bird watcher…so there’s that.
so this isn’t a decision to take lightly, obviously. she’s meant a lot to me. sadly though, there’s a ton of the twist, but we’re fresh out of shout….to be continued….