I sweat money and the bank is my shower…

Well, not lately anyways.

“When I was young, I thought that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old, I know it is.” – Oscar Wilde.

I don’t know if you noticed, but yesterday two of my co-bloggers put up some excellent posts. Lollipop definitely got to what I was thinking about this current financial crisis: What would Gordon Gecko think? (Probably something to do with stocking up on suspenders.) And Benjamin Light said it perfectly: Now is a good time to be poor so you don’t have any money to lose.

So I wanted to add to this all since it’s cleary a big issue, but I’m not going to lie to you: Like a lot of you, I’m not the most informed person on just how bad it is out there. (Are stockbrokers throwing themselves out windows yet?) In fact, I’m just a guy writing blogs using Lil’ Wayne lyrics as titles whose fascinated by the political ramifications of it, beacuse… well, everyone’s going to get a little bit of shit on them, especially with an incompetent outgoing President and it being election season and all.  So I’m going to go to the easiest source available to me…

The Counterforce tumblr dashboard.

And maybe some other links along the way as well, since I can be somewhat industrious when I want to be.

Tumblr is primarily devoted to microblogging, using short text bursts or pictures, as well as video and audio, etc. But probably the most common thing you’ll see on their is re-blogging. It’s simple and easy: Somebody puts up a wacky picture that you like and it shows up on your tumblr feed, which is just pages and pages of everything you or those you follow have blogged. You see that wacky picture that you like and you click the easy little link that says “reblog.” Rinse, and then repeat like a David Markson novel gone nuclear.

(via Katiebakes.)

“In other words, the Democrats and the Republicans made a deal before the vote to deliver a certain number of votes each. The Democrats made good on their part of the bargain; the Republicans didn’t. Obama’s not the issue.” Stumper: The bailout failed. Should we blame McCain? (via Robot Heart.)

Riding out the credit crisis, from Boing Boing. (via Siege, as is the glorious of our fearless leader up there.)

Andrew Mitchell talking about the complete failure of leadership on all sides for the bail out. (via Robot Heart.)

(via Robot Heart)

Yesterday’s losses in the market added up to approximately $1.2 trillion. (via Siege.)

Golden parachutes. (via What I Learned Today.)

Michael Moore explains how our current financial crisis is about rising medical costs and the need for universe health care. (via Robot Heart.)

McCain camp says Obama is not leading.

Obama humiliated McCain at the White House meeting. (via Robot Heart.)

John McCain: Do as I say, not as I do. (via Robot Heart.)

Forget Joe Biden. I’d like to see John McCain debate Sarah Palin.” Exactly. (via Robot Heart.)

Should McCain ask Palin to step down?

Was the Palin pick a mistake?

John McCain owns VoteForTheMILF.com? (via Robot Heart, whom you’ll probably see mentioned a lot in this post, as if you hadn’t already noticed.)

Biden’s mouth doesn’t know what Obama’s saying.

McCain calls for an end to partisan attacks, then 16 minutes later blames Obama for economic crisis. (via  – guess who! – Robot Heart.)

How bad could things get? (via Katiebakes.)

(via Gawker.)

Debate questions for Joe Biden.

Obama wants to increase FDIC insurance to $250,000.

Why the bailout affects you. (via Robot Heart.)

A memo found in the street bout the financial crisis. (via What I Learned Today.)

How credit default swaps became a timebomb. (via Fat Manatee.)

Financial Crisis 2008 isn’t the only the crisis out there. There’s also Final Crisis!

Latest Palin gaffe: Can’t name Supreme Court other than Roe v. Wade. (via Robot Heart.)

How the game plan for Palin is being retooled ahead of the debate. (via Robot Heart.)

We’re one, but we’re not the same.

Completely unrelated to the financial crisis: The longest SF books of all time. (via This recording.)

Also, completely unrelated: Scanners, directed by David Cronenberg, 1981. Just cause. This is your brain in financial crisis mode! Ha ha. (via Blood Pudding.)

Still unrelated, but slightly less so: Men seldom make passes at girls in glasses… (via Carnal Knowledge.)

I wonder how the financial troubles we’re facing right now will affect a post peak oil world. Hmm. Anyone?

And then there’s always the lingering question of the Russia/Georgia situation.

Maria Diaz on McCainSpace. Goddamn, she’s brave.

The 30 best songs about business and money.

An New York Times article entitled “Fannie Mae eases credit to aide mortgage lending,” and printed exactly 9 years ago today. That’s just badass right there. (via Katiebakes.)

McCain plays “the Bill Clinton card.”

Bracelet flap lingers post-debate. (via Robot Heart.)

“McCain said he was going to interrupt his campaign to save the negotiations. What he did was interrupt the negotiations to save his campaign.” – John Kerry, of all people.

Meghan McCain on Jay Leno. (via It’s Bed Time.)

Thoughts from guys on IM: Sarah Palin and her VPILFishness. (via Rachel Kramer Bussel.)

Casting call for the upcoming Sarah Palin porno.

“I grew up to be a man, right here, in this area. It’s as a consequence of working with this organization and this community that I found my calling. There was something more than making money and getting a fancy degree. The measure of my life would be public service.” Obama’s community roots.

All politicking is local: How the Obama campaign is using technology to change elections on the ground. (via Something Changed.)

Molly Lambert’s metaphor for the U.S. economy.

McCain: Palin in the next Clinton or Reagan.

The broad political implications of a McCain victory.

(via Planet Tampon, but this one is good too.)

So you think you’re a swing voter? (via Nick Douglas.)

“I’m a feminist who, uh, believes in equal rights and I believe that women certainly today have every opportunity that a man has to succeed, to try and do it all, anyway. And I’m very, very thankful that I’ve been brought up in a family where gender hasn’t an issue. You know, I’ve been expected to do everything growing up that the boys were doing. We were out chopping wood and you’re out hunting and fishing and filling our freezer with good wild Alaskan game to feed our family. So it kinda started with that.” – Sarah Palin, on why she’s a feminist. (via Robot Heart.)

Maybe she should use that lifeline.

But we don’t all need to be mean to her.

Today: Dow up 485 points! (via Robot Heart.)

Senate to vote on financial rescue plan on Wednesday.

The 2008 economic literacy rap lyrics contest for youth.

When Madmen reign. (via Siege.)

“A man is usually more careful of his money than he is of his principles.” –Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Since I’ve re-blogged the hell out of her in this post, I might as well finish it with a quote from Robot Heart: “I’m tired of reading about the bail out.” Yeah… yeah, you’re right. Me too.

I guess we’re just going to have to hope this gets better. Thank God most of us are poor. Well, cash money millionaires, until next time…


(Thank God I’ve got Wu Tang Financial.)


Cash Rules Everything Around Me

I don’t understand the collapse of Wall Street but it gives me great pleasure to know that big, bad financial institutions manage their money just like I do: terribly. So now, everyone is totally freaking out. As a person almost completely incapable of managing their own money, I thought it would be best to offer my take on the situation. And look at that, the US government manages their problems just like I do: in a completely petty and vindictive manner.  Mess with me and you can bet your ass I won’t be signing your bill! Now, apologize.

the roof, the roof, the roof is on fire

the roof, the roof, the roof is on fire

When I started hearing about this collapse, my first instinct was: What would Gordon Gecko of the classic film “Wall Street” do? Apparently, some other dumb ass had the same idea, but unlike me, they actually had the opportunity to ask Michael Dogulas, the actor that played Gordon when he was at some sort of UN conference about nuclear weapons. The reporter was then kicked out of the news conference and told “You’ll never interview in this UN press meeting room again”.

Naw, for real, Michael gently reminded him that Gordon was a fictional character of a film written 20 years ago. Also, confidential to Gekko: you were kinda wrong. Greed doesn’t really work. That is how we ended up with some shit like Bank of America owning the entire country.

During the great depression, hemlines dropped for ladies. The more andro look of the 20s was replaced with a girlier look.

During the great depression, hemlines dropped for ladies. The more andro look of the 20s was replaced with a girlier look.

My next thought was…what would Patrick Bateman do? The answer to that is clear: getting fired from his firm would no doubt inspire another psychotic break as detailed in Bret Easton Ellis’s self indulgent masterpiece, American Psycho. He would order some hookers,cut them up a bit, lick some Haagen Daaz off their bloody fingers and then go return some videotapes.

dont just stare at it...

don't just stare at it...

Another movie about Important Business That Gets Conducted in New York is Working Girl. In this movie, a slightly deranged secretary’s boss gets into an airplane accident and then the secretary beings to essentially assume the identity of her boss, do her job and STEAL HER MAN, YA’LL. All of this is considered okay because the secretary is blonde and nice and has a breathy voice and the boss is a brunette and mean and has a manlier voice. I won’t spoil the ending for you, but I bet you can probably already figure it out, right?



Remember when Liz Lemon went corporate?

Im just playing as hard as I work.

I'm just playing as hard as I work.

The movie Boiler Room, in many ways an homage to Wall Street & Gordon Gecko, has a scene with Ben Affleck that perhaps inspired many a young Lehman Brothers or Morgan Stanley employee:

So, the bail out, which everyone was upset about, is now not happening, and everyone’s pissed about that, too. That’s like when you offer to pay for a friend and they pretend to refuse, as we do in polite society, and then you agree that you should go dutch and then they get pissed at you for not paying for them. Bail out fails, Wall Street fails, and…now what? My response to today is similar to my response to all crisis and is also the response of the two Bank of America employees that sit next to me at the cafe I write this entry from: to get completely shitfaced drunk. We won’t have jobs soon anyway, they say. Let’s never go back to the office and instead get new jobs as hobos.

Listening list:

1. Wu-Tang Clan, “C.R.E.AM.”

2. Memphis Bleek, “Alright” (Ratatat remix)

3. This American Life, The Giant Pool of Money

4. Favtape’s top songs of 1929, another year with another market crash

Counterforce After Dark: Trail of Tears Edition

Hey there, boo. It’s Sunday night, I got a nice glass of the finest wine 1.99 can buy and I want to bring you into the week with nothing but love. I know we’ve had a bad week, and I know things between us are rough, but there’s just something I need to say…

Girl, I’m here for you

All those times at night, when you just ran off with that other fella

Baby, I knew about it, I just didn’t care

You just don’t understand how much I love you, do you?

I’m here for you…

Right now, I’m just in so much pain, because you just won’t come back to me

Will you? Just come back.

Its unnatural. You belong to me. I belong to you.


Counterforce After Dark

The Pre-Debate A to Z’s of Election 2008.

Do I even need to caption this photo?

By noon today, the question has become whether or not John McCain will show up tonight or not. As of now, he supposedly will. Mmmm, crow. Tasty. I guess it’s time to start concocting drinking games. But if he doesn’t show up, there will be no debate, according to Frank J. Fahrenkopf of the Presidential Debates Commission. I imagine he’ll have to show up, because I think by now he realizes how stupid he looks for having suspended his campaign (because “the economy is exploding!”), and half of America’s disbelief, two days ago. But as we sit here and wonder what will happen tonight, it’s important to note that both sides are going what’s become the usual pre-game strategem in these sitautions: Lower the hell out of everyone’s expectations. The McCain camp is even highlighting Senator Obama’s being a seasoned debater and a world-class orator while the Obama camp is saying that foreign policy (if they go ahead with tonight’s scheduled topic and don’t end up switching to something on everyone’s minds like, oh, I don’t know, the economy?) is McCain’s strong point.

So, in the spirit of how this election is going and the indecision of John McCain (and the great unknown of whether or not we’ll have a bailout by the weekend), I give you the least comprehensive (and fairly one sided) A to Z pre-debate primer that I can. 🙂 Enjoy!

A is for the Apollo Theater, as in It’s Showtime at the Apollo! I mention this only because I was reminded that Chris Rock intro’d Obama there at a rally. And I was reminded of that by this interview Mr. Rock did with Larry King where he boils this election down to it’s simplest form: Vote for the guy with one house, not the guy that doesn’t know how many houses he owns. Or, maybe not vote for the woman who you feel bad for when they let her talk for longer than four minutes. “It’s like Kim Kardashian on Dancing With The Stars, all that ass and she can’t shake it.”

B is for Plan B on tonight’s debate, should McCain not show up. One suggestion is to have the audience ask questions of moderator Jim Lehrer. Personally, I’d find that fascinating, but I think it wouldn’t go over so well with most of the unwashed masses, probably something to do with the reasons they already don’t watch the NewsHour.

C is for “The Common Man.” You’ve seen McCain called such. Supposedly, a majority of voters think that he and Sarah Palin look like your typical American couple, some kind of outdated idea of “normal.” The only thing normal about McCain is that he graduated near the bottom of his class, crashed five or six planes, and lies and gets angry with the best of them. He’s normal in all the ways we hate about ourselves. Obama has a name that isn’t normal, he sounds like an immigrant, and he worked himself up from nothing and went to Harvard. He’s the first black candidate for President on a major political party’s ticket and was voted in a survey to be the guy Americans would most want to have a beer and watch football together with, yet he’s not considered to be like us, to be “the common man.” Rather than pandering to our current idea of “normal,” or something similar to us, the supposed “common man,” can I suggest to you the new normal? And that’s not McCain, a man of the past who looks like grim death. And appears to have Tyrannosaurus Rex arms.

D is for drilling, as in off shore oil drilling. I mention this because you never know, this may come up somewhere in these debates. And off shore oil drilling may be the only real issue I mention in this entire primer.

E is for Elitism, or the ridiculous idea of it as being a bad thing. I’m going to go ahead and quote Aaron Sorkin’s excellent piece on what the dream-like meeting between Barack Obama and fictional ex-President Josiah Bartlett would look like: “You were raised by a single mother on food stamps. Where does a guy with eight houses who was legacied into Annapolis get off calling you an elitist? And by the way, if you do nothing else, take that word back. Elite is a good word, it means well above average. I’d ask them what their problem is with excellence. While you’re at it, I want the word ‘patriot’ back. McCain can say that the transcendent issue of our time is the spread of Islamic fanaticism or he can choose a running mate who doesn’t know the Bush doctrine from the Monroe doctrine, but he can’t do both at the same time and call it patriotic. They have to lie: the truth isn’t their friend right now. Get angry. Mock them mercilessly; they’ve earned it.”

F is for being a Fiscal Conservative.

F is also for “Fire!” which John McCain just called out in a crowded theater.

G is for the Glass Ceiling, which is in desperate need of being shattered. It would be great to have an African-American or Female President. Even better would be to have a President who just happened to also be African-American or a woman. Or anything that isn’t necessarily an old white man. The sad thing is, I feel like to really run as the candidate who wants to be the first one of these, you do have to be extraordinary. In this counter, it’s a shame, but it seems like you still have to shake people out of their old tired molds. You have to not only be great, but show that you have what it takes for continuous greatness. I think Obama’s showing that. And Sarah Palin, as much as I love to seeing a woman on the Republican ticket, is turning heads, but for none of the right reasons. And now she’s apparently turning them away.

H is for hunger, as in how hungry we all are to have this election over with already. Right? Also, H is for fighting poverty and disease and hunger, which is something Bono is still fighting for. But he needs your help! I mention that because… Well, have you noticed 2008 is starting to smell a hell of a lot like 1987? We’ve already had a Black Monday, a writer’s strike, and now all we need is for a really great U2 album to come out. (Never mind, I guess the 80s writer’s strike was in 1988, but regardless, the 80s are coming back to eat you!)

I is for I. You. Taking responsibility for myself/yourself/one’s self. The Royal We. The occasional mea culpa. And not talking shit about gooks and Chelsea Clinton and telling Spain to fuck off and bulldogs and/or pigs wearing lipstick. You sexist bastard. I also stands for this quote from Senator McCain’s memoir Worth Fighting For in which he said, “I don’t torture myself over decisions. I make them as quickly as I can, quicker than the other fellow, if I can. Often my haste is a mistake, but I love with the consequences without complaint.” It may be asking too much, but I could also stand for intelligence and maybe a plea for a little of it during this election season?

J is for Jamie Lynn Spears. And a comparison of her versus Bristol Palin. And also a little bit of hypocrisy.

K is for Katie Couric, and I think we should all thank Sarah Palin for making Katie look like a serious journalist.

L is for Lesbians. They make everything better. Just ask LiLo, Mark Ronson’s little sister, Ellen, and the former Amanda Lee Rogers. I’m starting to wonder if Sarah Palin might secretly be one considering how bad she wants to fuck women over. (Also, here’s a Sarah Palin name generator. Get your crazy Sarah Palin name! Mine is Khaki Salmon Palin. That’s awesome.)

M is for money. Your’s, specifically. Say hello to it. Tell it how much you love it. And then wave goodbye to it as the wind blows it away. Also, bailout money. As in, “If money isn’t loosened up, this sucker could go down,” as President Bush declared on Thursday as he watched the $700 billion bailout plan implode in front of him.

N is for National debates! Like tonight’s. If tonight’s happen. If tonight’s happen in…

O is for Oxford, Mississippi, home of the first scheduled debate, which will be at the University of Mississippi, school still trying to overcome it’s past racist image. I guess we’ll just see. It’s scheduled to be on foreign policy and national security, but I kinda get the feeling people want to talk about something else…

P is for Henry Paulson, Treasury Secretary. I could say a lot about this poor bastard, but… Well, in a way, I just kind of feel bad for him.

Q is for Questions! Questions for tonight’s debate. Presidential questions. And questions Sarah Palin coulnd’t answer. (I just realized that we’re already up to Q here and I haven’t mentioned Joe Biden once yet. Uh… Sorry?)

R is for Rocket Science. “It’s not rocket science,” say Governor Sarah Palin to the Mat-Su Valley Frontiersman in October of 1996 about running the town of Wasilla, Alaska. “It’s six million dollars and 53 employees.” R is also for Russia! Don’t forget that Sarah Palin is an expert on Russia since she can see it from her house.

S is for Sexism. While a lot of the criticism of the Governor of Alaska is warranted and just, there is still a tremendous amount of sexism out there on both sides. S is also for McCain suspending his campaign in name only.

T is Ivana Trump. Yeah, that’s right: “We want to see Ivana because we are so desperate in Alaska for any semblance of glamor and culture,” said Governor Sarah Palin to the Anchorage Daily News on April 3, 1996.

U and V are for “Unfair verbiage.” I guess it is unfair to attack a man who says that the fundamentals of our crashing, failing, and plummeting economy are strong. V wold also be for the job of Vice President, which Governor Palin wants. When asked about it on CNBC’s “Kudlow & Company” on July 31, 2008, she said, “But as for all that V.P. talk all the time, I’ll tell you, I still can’t answer that question until somebody answers for me what is it, exactly, that the V.P. does every day?” Excellent question, Sarah.

W is for WaMu. Time to start converting your money to euros or maybe looking into a nice, plus Swiss bank account. Or something offshore? “Oh, hello there. Why yes, I would like to buy this bucket of whiskey and all this questionable looking porn with my Grand Cayman Visa.” W is also for W, the new Oliver Stone movie that I think I actually want to see. And how often do you get to say that? But since it’s about a guy who’s been kicking this country into the ground for the last eight years, it seems somewhat relevant.

X is for Xanax. Enough said.

Apparently Jill Greenberg is in just a little bit of trouble because of this photo.

Y is for yellow teeth, which is one of the ads that appeared on the page (such a stretch, I know) for this excellent Entertainment Weekly interview with Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. I love this quote from the host of the Daily Show: “There’s this idea that people who hunt and have ‘good’ values are somehow this mythological American; I don’t know who ‘this’ person is, I’ve never met them. She is no more typical ‘us’ than I am, than Obama is, than McCain is, than Mr. T is. If there is something quintessentially or authentically American about her, I sort of feel like, you know what? You ‘good values people’ have had this country for eight years, and done an unbelievably shitty job. Let’s find some bad values people and give them a shot, maybe they’ll have a better take on it.”

Z is for the crazy zealots of the world. We thought we were done with them as Bush was heading out… but no. Thanks for bringing back the witch hunters, Sarah Palin.

Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m looking forward to tonight. Big time.

The Prank Call Of Cthulhu Cthursday.

This morning on the way to work I stopped at the supermarket to buy a thing of juice and an apple. Interesting fact about Marco Sparks: I don’t drink coffee. Typically of late I don’t eat as healthy as I should, but today I was possessed by the notion that I must have juice and an apple. And a banana. And some gum, I decided as my eyes moved over the shelves there while waiting in line to purchase my goods. And maybe a cheap gossip mag? No, no cheap gossip magazine. I have the internet for that, so…

Anyways, there was two girls standing in front of me. Young, cute girls probably around 16 or 17ish, and probably on their way to school and locked into a conversation about who at their school was a dick and who was a fucking cunt and who knew how to dress themselves right. Personally, I almost wanted to eavesdrop on women privately talking about Proust or what it feels like to travel through a black hole, but that wasn’t to be today. Today was about enjoying the parlance of giddy youth, something that I’m far enough/not that far enough removed from that it still feels half familiar while also being totally foreign to me.

Also, the youth of today are a bunch of retards. One of these girls described McCain as “cute and rugged,” so there may be a vision problem here as well.

The other girl in front of me was the interesting one. Amidst the conversating about what classes she had today and what funny story she heard during lunch yesterday, I could not take my eyes off the fact that she was holding an H. P. Lovecraft book in her hands. At one point, in my shock, I quietly said out loud to myself, “Lovecraft?!” but thankfully the girl didn’t hear me. Not that there’s anything wrong with a teenaged girl reading Lovecraft (in fact, I think that’s wonderful)(except that he was a filthy racist), but it just strikes me as so weird to see anyone reading it. But then I thought to myself…

Lovecraft wrote Cthulhu, or is well known for having created and having written several stories in that somewhat contradictory Cthulhu mythos, but interestingly, the man who shaped it more and even coined the term “Cthulhu mythos” was a guy named August Derleth. Derleth wrote books in just about every genre and eventually became good friends with Lovecraft via letters, but the two never met in person. Derleth also created Arkam House, the publisher that kept reprinting Lovecraft, thus keeping Cthulhu’s creator out of literary obscurity.

Derleth (pictured above), I discovered today, was one of Wisconsin’s favorite sons, having based himself in Sauk City and apparently having written more about the Wisconsin River than any other writer ever. And from what I can tell about or see of the Wisconsin River, it seems like pretty dreary and desolate. Like a fog soaked abyss of depression and despair. Probably perfect for writing about the Old Ones, The Elder Ones, the many tentacled crazy evil sea deities, the Necronomicon, and various shoggoths and Lloigor.

Thinking about that made me think of the only other famous person from Wisconsin that I could think of: Butch Vig, the producer of Nevermind and Siamese Dream, and the drummer for Garbage. That band, I remembered, recorded all their albums in Vig’s personal studio in Madison, Wisconsin, and I remembered reading in Shirley Manson’s studio diaries (which I highly recommend if you want to fall in love all over again with a fire-haired, sex obsessed Scottish girl) from back in the day how fucking sinister and bleary Wisconsin was, especially when the fog rolled in.

And Shirley, whom I’d love to see be involved in a new Garbage album or even working on a solo album still, is now recurring in some fashion in that Sarah Connor Chronicles TV show on Fox presumably as a Terminator. And that’s cool because… well, who else would you rather have terminating your ass?

No one, that’s who. Now, from there, I could tell you how naturally the Terminator TV show reminds of the nation’s most famous outed robot in power, The Governator. And The Governator is a Republican and wants to be President some day. Just like John McCain. And if McCain was elected, just to edify you a bit here, he’d probably fuck up the country for the youth like those two girls this morning. And after he eventually (and inevitably) dies and we get screwed over the desk hard with President Sarah Palin, she’d probably like to ban books by people like H. P. Lovecraft and August Derleth from libraries, so those girls would have nothing to read.

I could go in that direction. Blog-wise, that’s called putting a nice little bow of an ending on this ugly bitch. But I won’t go there. Instead, I’ll just say mention how much all of that reminds me of this timeless gem:

Old Glory, Robot Insurance. (Sorry to make you click on it, but WordPress doesn’t embed Hulu. Personally, I blame NBC.) Just remember: Robots are everywhere. And they eat old people’s medicine for fuel.

Can a john get a refund if his prostitute doesn’t deliver on the promised orgasm?

Robot on the loose!

The artic sea is just waiting to fart gaseous death upon us.

Seven better uses for $700 billion?

Anyone want to talk about past Presidential debates?

Let’s talk about Election 2008 in terms everyone can understand: Star Wars.

H. P. Lovecraft, Giant Squids, and Panspermia!

Ah, the adorable adventures of Hello Cthulhu.

I believe that I previously posited the notion that maybe John McCain was one of the Old Ones?

Cthulhu Dream by Roberta Scalvini.

Tentacle Porn!

I’m perpetually thinking up new ways to increase my gnumber.

What happens to science fiction writers after they die?

It’s not often enough that you can talk about witch hunters pre-election…

And saving the best for last: American teeth vs. British teeth.


GarbageYou Look So Fine

Counterforce After Dark

Let’s have a little intermission for those of you still up, late at night, slaving away over your hot computers.

We want you to get real close, because we got a few things I need to say. We know you’ve had a hard day and all you want to do is relax.  Why don’t you have a sip of this nice glass of Henny, put your feet up  and let us sing you a sweet lullaby:

But, don’t worry darling, we respect your ability to consent. We will only make sweet love to you until you say stop:

We can only hope, pray and beg that our posts make you weak in the knees,

But don’t try to call us tomorrow because well, we won’t be here, but don’t worry lover, we’ll totally call you back:

Goodnight and have a pleasant tomorrow.


Counterforce After Dark

super crazy news confection!

heeellloooo counterforce, peanut here! sorry for my little break i’ve been on recently. to break the ice again, it’s going to be a little bit random….but let’s see what happens!

if you have this little series of tubes, you may have noticed a news story or two about the plane crash in south carolina involving travis barker, DJ AM, and four other dead guys.

tweedle dee and tweedle dum

tweedle dee and tweedle dum

now, never mind that you hear nothing about the four passengers who didn’t survive. news readers will only be bombarded with stories about these two who did live. and they will be famous now for an additional 15 minutes, bringing their total to thirty minutes so far. which is approximately forty five minutes too long. so, brace yourself. at least for the larry king special. 

coming out is all the rage. i almost wish i could come out of my closet, if only there weren’t so many shoes in the way. or a closet to come out of. first up is breaking news involving lindsay lohan admitting that she and DJ girlfriend samantha ronson are actually a couple. 

not hot. not even a little.

not hot. not even a little.

after you get done throwing up in your own mouth…save a little more stomach acid for the next trip up. clay akin of american idol semi fame was next up to bat. i know what you’re thinking. you’ve totally been side swiped by information. give it a second to sink in as i know you NEVER SAW THIS COMING. aiken, the father of a brand new in vitro fertilization baby, is not a fan of broads.

i like bubble baths, candle light dinner, and long romantic strolls in the beach!

hey there, cowboy....

sigh….straight girls just lost another one. oh well! if clay is smart, he’ll hurry up and find his better half and marry him before proposition 8 makes that not so possible. if nothing else, he can say he tried to be a part of something to help gay rights move forward, rather then just a bad television show.

also, chuck klosterman just came out with a new book!! “downtown owl” was released september 16, and unlike his previous works which tend to be nonfiction/semi autobiographical at times; klosterman’s new release is fiction. after a little bit of research, i can’t wait!

oh holy al gore….the man might have been on to something in that movie i fell asleep in….


allz i gotz to say is, 2012 brah!

allz i gotz to say is, 2012 brah!



before i peace out on this one….here’s a little new tv on the radio, for your ass. and i’m spent! goodnight!